Its been a LONG time huh!

Yes I know it has been a really long time since I last posted a blog entry. To be exact, my last post was one month ago today, April 13th.. I have avoided blogging because my blogs were focused on a blessed time in our lives and that all quickly and sadly changed. I didnt want to talk about it and this blog was my happy chatty pregnancy, tell everyone the changes and excitement of it, etc place.. So Its taken me a month to realize I am strong and can focus on the other wonderful things happening and present in my life. It was a horribly sad time.. I went through the normal loss emotions.. denial, anger, blame (my self), and acceptance. I wanted to have that baby so bad.. My life revolved around it.. We had names picked out, I had all my nursery ideas in line, I bathed in not so warm water lol, I read and wrote in my pregnancy journal daily, and was so excited. My aunt from New Hampshire had made me a beautiful newborn baby hat, my mom gave us our first gift a baby blankie and my grandma had knitted a pink and green blanket.. I had my mom take it all for me and put it away for our next pregnancy because I was much too sad to look at it at the time.. I am doing better now though. And so is Matt. We are helping eachother and becoming closer due to it. We know that we will have children in the future. I am not ready just yet to try again. I cant handle the pain again yet if that was to happen. I cant dwell on that happening but I just need time. I am thinking maybe this winter trying.. But only time will tell. Thank you to all of our family and friends that were there for us through it all. I had so much help and love after the surgery. thank you for being there for Matt while I was down post-op. We are so lucky and we know it.



Alot has happened in one month.. Things have been pretty good other than the miscarriage. We have been keeping busy and trying to have a good time. We went to a fun fun fun 60's themed party for Matts uncle. I need to put pictures up but I am on my work computer and my computer at home has pretty much taken a crap.. I will try and find someway to put up lots of pictures that I have been wanting to share. We bought a house and signed on it last Friday. That has been great. Lots to do but it will be worth it! Yesterday I spent the afternoon cleaning and washing down walls. I plan on doing more cleaning the rest of this week after work. Matt has pulled up the carpet in two of the rooms and broke out the sheetrock in the front room for our new huge window. We are putting in a 7 foot by 4 foot window. That will bring in lots of sunshine. It will be nice. Matt has already purchased the window and it will be in on Friday. Saturday they will knock out the rest of the wall (the outside part of it) and put it in. Im excited to see the outcome. I took before and I will also take after so everyone can see! I will also put those pictures up as soon as I can. The carpet that Matt pulled up had beautiful hardwood floors under it. It is so pretty! We are going to finish it and not put carpet back down. We are going to start painting this weekend as well. We are painting the front room, hallway, master bedroom, and kitchen. The rest we will do down the line. Stanley steamer is coming in on the 22nd to clean the carpets and then we are going to move mostly everything in that weekend.. So theres the whole shebang! I will keep everyone updated as we go along. I am going over again tonight.. I want to clean the fridge and pantry tonight.. doesnt sound like alot, but it will be! Good thing I have a nice mommy, she says she is going to help me clean the house and our apartment! I bought her a little something special for her being so sweet. Not just for the house, but she is sweet all the time and so good to me. I love her lots...

We bought tickets to New Hampshire last week! I am so excited. I sure miss all our family back there. Its been a while since we've seen them all. I guess our wedding, so not that long lol. I have made it there every year since 2005 and didnt make it last year because of our wedding (but they all came here for it!) so this year I really wanted to go. So my incredibly sweet husband told me he wanted to take me there this fall! We went together with my parents in Oct of 2007 and we had a blast. I already know all the fun stuff I want to do. I want Matt to see the White Mountains, Newport Rocks on a nice NOT FOGGY UGLY day, and so much more. He wants to go downtown Boston again of course :) Theres so much to do there. We really want to do as much of the freedom trail as possible. My family did a lot of it when we went in 2005, but when Matt went with us in 07 we just did a little of it. We want to go to Hampton Beach again.. so much to choose from. I have talked to Aunt Diane quite a few times and they are excited for us to come! I cant wait to see all of our 'Boston' family again! Oh we are going August 28- Sept. 5 :) :) :)

I signed up for a cake class this summer with my friend Shelby and my aunt! How fun does that sound! I think it sounds different and nice! It was Shelbys idea and I loved it. Its always fun to have a hobby and also get to spend time with her! Gives us a good reason to hang out! Matts aunt Annie asked me if she could join. Well of course! Its in June for 4 weeks, it will be fun!

I used to enjoy updating my blog so I am going to get back into it. I wont go a month in between posts anymore lol. Hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday and enjoy the (supposed) 80+ degree weather this weekend :)